(Scroll to the end for links to my previous 19 blog tributes to Joanna since her passing.)
It was 2½ years ago last evening, February 13, 2021, that I reluctantly left the hospital (per COVID rules) in Fort Worth and returned home, concerned that Joanna had not been very responsive the past few hours. Then, about 20 minutes after midnight, I received a call from a nurse, telling me that Joanna had been taken for a CT scan and that I should return to the hospital. I was about 20 minutes away from the hospital when the doctor called to tell me that Joanna had passed away during the CT scan, at 1:16 a.m. on February 14.
The passage of time hasn’t eased my grief; in fact, the distance it has created from the time I last saw Joanna has only deepened my sadness over losing her. Our son, Travis, frequently used his phone to take short family videos – especially of his mom – in those last years; it is a comfort to me to watch Travis’s videos, which show Joanna at her most casual, with her pixieish sense of humor shining through . . . laughing and smiling. Those little videos make me cry, but they also make me smile to remember the Joanna we knew and loved so well.
Before writing this post to commemorate 2½ years, I spent the past hour-and-a-half reading all of the blog posts I wrote about Joanna over the first year-and-a-half after her passing. Honestly (and this might come as a relief to some of you), I don’t think I have a lot to add at this point; I would just be repeating what I’ve written in my previous blog post tributes to Joanna over the past 2½ years. After all, this is number 20!
My emotions, my feelings, haven’t changed significantly since writing those posts. Joanna is still the love of my life forever, I continue to be content with my memories and want no other relationship – because I could never find with anyone else anything to remotely compare with the love that Joanna and I shared. The first thing I do every morning – before even getting out of bed – is to pat Joanna’s side of the bed (yes, I still sleep on the same side as I did when she was next to me) and thank God for blessing me with her love for 48 years (from the time we began dating): her love, her friendship, her partnership, her companionship. I miss her, but I realize that I have been blessed as few have been – with the love of such a special person for so long.
Our kids and grandkids continue to be a great comfort to me. I only wish that Joanna were still here to enjoy them with me. But when we gather as a family, I figure she’s close by . . . she wouldn’t miss these family gatherings for anything.
So I’ll just point you back to my other blog posts about Joanna. There are a lot of special memories – and pictures – in them. After Joanna passed away, some friends suggested that I journal to record my feelings, etc., so that I could look back one day and see how I had “progressed.” Well, this is my version of journaling – frequent blog posts. As I’ve said many times, writing is my therapy. As for “progressing,” I’m not sure I’ve done any of that, but I’ve continued to try my best to live in a way that would please Joanna – taking care of our family, taking care of our home, and following where God leads me. That’s all I can do.
My 19 previous blog tributes to Joanna since her passing on February 14, 2021:
7/26/23 – 50 years ago this week – a special weekend in Boston with Joanna
2/12/23 – Two milestones: Today, Feb. 12, Joanna’s 70th birthday; Tuesday, Feb. 14, the 2nd anniversary of her passing
1/20/23 – 50 years ago tonight – January 20, 1973: Joanna & I went on our first date at OBU
10/28/22 – 50 years ago – October 1972: Audio of Joanna beginning to teach me Cantonese (3 mo. before our first date)
9/4/22 – On our 46th, remembering anniversary celebrations with Joanna through the years
8/14/22 – A year-and-a-half later: Missing Joanna more than ever
1/29/22 – One year ago – Joanna & I went out to eat together; then came the phone call that changed our lives
1/14/22 – 11 months of missing Joanna . . . my thoughts go back to another January, 49 years ago
12/14/21 – Ten months after Joanna’s passing . . . music, memories, and lumps in the throat
12/1/21 – 12/1/81, a great day as we became parents for the first time . . . Alison turns 40!
11/14/21 – Journeying with Joanna . . . Photo memories from a half-century (almost) of our travels together
9/14/21 – Pictures, pictures, pictures . . . remembering my wonderful trip with Joanna to Hong Kong, Beijing, and Macao 10 years ago this week
9/4/21 – Joanna and I were married 45 years ago today . . . Missing her and celebrating her
8/14/21 – Six months after Joanna’s passing . . . remembering her humor and all that she meant to me
7/14/21 – Five months after Joanna’s passing . . . remembering the lively soul who brought us joy
6/14/21 – Four months after Joanna’s passing . . . a few personal reflections
3/19/21 – Joanna spoke out against demeaning racial slurs and the fears they caused her as an Asian-American
2/22/21 – How Joanna and I got together . . . the beginning of our love story
2/19/21 – The painful journey that took the love of my life, Joanna . . . to the great heavenly banquet