(Scroll to the end for links to my previous 18 blog tributes to Joanna since her passing.)
It was 50 years ago this past week, July 1973, that I flew from my home in Kansas City, MO, to Boston to visit my girlfriend. Joanna and I had been dating for about 6 months. I had graduated from OBU at the end of May. Joanna and several of our Chinese friends from OBU had gone to Boston for the summer to get jobs there. I was back home for what would be my last summer in KC, working for my fourth summer as a dog enumerator for the City of Kansas City. Yes, dog enumerator – it was a job created specifically for college students who were home for the summer. We went door-to-door (and Kansas City could be very hot and humid in the summer), making sure dog owners had gotten rabies shots and licenses for their “best friends.” What fun!
young and in love
On the third weekend of July, I flew Delta to Boston to see Joanna. That pretty much made a statement that this relationship was important to me, for me to spend my hard-earned meager paycheck ($2.28/hour) on a plane flight to spend the weekend with her. I remember a few things from that weekend:
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- Joanna knew I was coming sometime, but when I tried to call earlier that week to tell her it would be that weekend, the phone in their apartment (all of them were staying together in one apartment) wasn’t working. But I had already bought my plane ticket, so I was going. When I arrived at Logan Airport that Friday evening, I went to a pay phone and was relieved to find that their phone had been fixed. Joanna came down on the subway to get me.
Eating in Hong Kong in 2011, with chopsticks – a skill Joanna had taught me in Boston almost 40 years earlier
- While I was waiting for Joanna, I had two “close encounters” with Senator Ted Kennedy. I had been a longtime Kennedy admirer. I was not quite 2 months short of my 10th birthday when President Kennedy was inaugurated in January 1961. I had no understanding of politics, no political philosophy, but I loved watching President Kennedy’s televised press conferences he held in the State Department auditorium, usually in the late afternoon after I got home from school – loved his wit, particularly, in bantering with the press. As a teenager, I had become an admirer of his brothers, Bobby and Teddy. Anyway, as I sat in the airport lobby waiting for Joanna, nature called, so I headed down a corridor toward the men’s room. I was surprised to see, coming from the other direction, Ted Kennedy – big as life – walking and talking with another man. I overheard him say one thing – “Well, that’s Gargan for you.” Kennedy buff that I was (I had read umpteen books on the Kennedys, the two assassinations, Chappaquiddick, etc.), I knew that Joseph Gargan was a cousin of the Kennedy siblings. Minutes later, as I exited the men’s room and started back toward the lobby, here came Kennedy and the man again, coming back the other way. I still wish I had had the guts to go up and speak to him. Ah well, add that to the list of opportunities missed.
- That weekend, Joanna and I walked around Boston. I don’t recall a lot of specifics regarding places we went – remember, I was in love and just being with her was all that mattered. I do remember us walking across the Harvard campus and going to the Prudential building.
- My main memory of that weekend, however, is our lunch in a Chinese restaurant. It was there that Joanna taught me to use chopsticks. How could I know that I would spend almost 50 years with this wonderful woman, eating thousands of meals with her and using chopsticks for the rest of my life? When I first met Joanna’s parents, on our trip to Hong Kong in May
Back in Boston (Fenway Park), over 40 years later, celebrating our 40th anniversary in 2016 with a trip through New England
1979, almost 3 years after we married (Joanna’s sister, Rossana, and brother, Jovan, represented the family at our wedding), Joanna’s mom put me to the test. We were out with the family at a restaurant, and Joanna’s mom challenged me to use chopsticks to pick up a peanut. Without flinching, without hesitation, I did it – easily. That was how I won the heart of Joanna’s mom. My skill with chopsticks tells you something about what a good teacher Joanna was. If you’ve read my story of how Joanna and I first got together, you’ll recall that Joanna taught me Cantonese so well that I easily won the OBU Chinese Student Association’s initiation contest over several other non-Chinese.
And the rest is history . . . our history. We were married a little over 3 years later, just months after Joanna graduated from OBU. This memory of our weekend in Boston 50 years ago is still very close to my heart. We enjoyed being together, walking together, laughing together, even at times crying together, and we walked together through life for almost 50 years. What a blessing!
My 18 previous blog tributes to Joanna since her passing on February 14, 2021:
2/12/23 – Two milestones: Today, Feb. 12, Joanna’s 70th birthday; Tuesday, Feb. 14, the 2nd anniversary of her passing
1/20/23 – 50 years ago tonight – January 20, 1973: Joanna & I went on our first date at OBU
10/28/22 – 50 years ago – October 1972: Audio of Joanna beginning to teach me Cantonese (3 mo. before our first date)
9/4/22 – On our 46th, remembering anniversary celebrations with Joanna through the years
8/14/22 – A year-and-a-half later: Missing Joanna more than ever
1/29/22 – One year ago – Joanna & I went out to eat together; then came the phone call that changed our lives
1/14/22 – 11 months of missing Joanna . . . my thoughts go back to another January, 49 years ago
12/14/21 – Ten months after Joanna’s passing . . . music, memories, and lumps in the throat
12/1/21 – 12/1/81, a great day as we became parents for the first time . . . Alison turns 40!
11/14/21 – Journeying with Joanna . . . Photo memories from a half-century (almost) of our travels together
9/14/21 – Pictures, pictures, pictures . . . remembering my wonderful trip with Joanna to Hong Kong, Beijing, and Macao 10 years ago this week
9/4/21 – Joanna and I were married 45 years ago today . . . Missing her and celebrating her
8/14/21 – Six months after Joanna’s passing . . . remembering her humor and all that she meant to me
7/14/21 – Five months after Joanna’s passing . . . remembering the lively soul who brought us joy
6/14/21 – Four months after Joanna’s passing . . . a few personal reflections
3/19/21 – Joanna spoke out against demeaning racial slurs and the fears they caused her as an Asian-American
2/22/21 – How Joanna and I got together . . . the beginning of our love story
2/19/21 – The painful journey that took the love of my life, Joanna . . . to the great heavenly banquet