Remembering a true patriot, my friend Bernie Kaye 
by Bill Jones

Bernie Kaye passed away a little over a year ago, on June 17, 2025, at the age of 97.

Bernie was one of my dearest friends, as I told him many times.

We met in 2003 when I went to work for a Barnes & Noble bookstore in Frisco, TX. During the year that we worked together, Bernie and I found a shared interest in talking politics, a love of liberalism, and a distrust of George W. Bush & his cronies. When I resigned in 2004 to take a job editing training materials for Countrywide Home Loans, I promised Bernie we would stay in touch – and we did!

For over 20 years, Bernie and I met for lunch every month or so at Jason’s Deli and spent two hours talking – about politics, about family, and I especially loved hearing his stories of growing up in New York City, attending Stuyvesant School, his service in the Marines, trips he took to the Middle East as an attorney, and so forth.

When I met Bernie after starting work at Barnes & Noble in September 2003, Bernie was already 75 (the age I am now!). He had retired from his law practice. So why – at the age of 75 – was he back to work at Barnes & Noble? He told me that his grandson had asked why he didn’t go to work like the boy’s parents – and other adults he knew – did. Bernie didn’t want his grandson to think him a slacker . . . so he took the job at Barnes & Noble. I’ll be eternally grateful to that grandson – and to all the companies that had turned me down in the two years since I had been laid off from my last writing & editing job. Otherwise, I would have been denied what turned out to be one of the richest experiences of my life – knowing Bernie Kaye as a friend.

In 2008, Bernie honored me by inviting my wife Joanna and me to join a small group of friends and his family in celebrating his 80th birthday. To this day, I consider that one of the nicest compliments I’ve ever received.

Bernie, who had served in the U.S. Marine Corps, was a patriot in the truest sense of the word, so it makes sense to pay tribute to him on this Independence Day. He loved the principles on which America was founded and spoke out when he saw American leaders violating them and corrupting them. Bernie almost always wore his Marines cap to our lunches, and I can’t count the number of people, over the years, who came over to our table and thanked Bernie for his service in the Marine Corps. For several years, Bernie taught classes in a local progam for senior citizens – he taught on the Constitution and the principles on which our country was founded. At his invitation, I attended one of those classes just to see my friend Bernie in action. Those seniors got more than they bargained for, believe me.

Bernie was Jewish, and I am Baptist. He was a Jew who was defiantly proud of his heritage, and he appreciated my profound love and respect for the Jewish people. By the same token, he appreciated the way I practice my Christian faith and my adherence to historic Baptist principles, especially the separation of church and state. Bernie and I found more in common – with regard to the principles by which we live – than I have found with many Christians. My admiration and respect for Bernie Kaye knows no bounds.

Bernie loved talking about his family. He was so proud of his children and grandchildren. He was deeply devoted to his loving wife, Evie, and did his best – he told me – to obey Evie’s admonition to NOT talk politics to their neighbors at McDermott Crossing, the senior apartment community in which they lived the last several years of Bernie’s life. I guess I was his outlet for talking politics, and I was more than happy to serve in that role, because I love talking political issues every much as Bernie did.

Though I learned much from Bernie, I found that he enjoyed learning from me as well. He once told me that he had taken to heart something I had once said to him – that people are complicated and that we should be careful about pigeonholing them as this or that, because they often surprise us. He and I were both committed to the separation of church and state. Early in our friendship, I gave him a copy of a little booklet I had bought while we worked at Barnes & Noble – the anabaptist vision – that gives some insight to my heritage as a Baptist, and the commitment of the anabaptists – who, in the 16th century, were precursors to those who founded the Baptist movement in the 17th – to the separation of church and state, opposing coercion of any kind in religious matters. Bernie loved that little booklet so much that he often told me of sharing it with friends.

Many years ago, I asked Bernie whether he was a religiously observant Jew. He said no, that he was, essentially, a deist. He believed in the existence of God but did not believe that God took an active role in people’s lives today. Bernie and I loved and respected each other for who we are, and neither of us ever tried to change the other or persuade the other. If you asked me whether I believe Bernie is in heaven today, I would unequivocally reply yes, that Bernie is with God today. In Matthew 25, Jesus set out the criterion for spending eternity with God – to compassionately meet the needs of people, especially those who are hurting, oppressed, and marginalized. Bernie was faithful in his commitment to those who were truly in need – the least of these, Jesus called them.

Over the years, I shared with Bernie about the ministry my dad (who passed away in 2007) had among the Jewish people, and he told me he admired my dad. Around 20 years ago, Bernie accompanied me to my church, Wilshire Baptist Church, to hear the then-president of Sojourners, Jim Wallis, speak. Bernie and I were both admirers of Wallis, who had just written a book titled God’s Politics, in which he emphasized the importance of personal freedom and opposed the marriage of church and state. We met Wallis that evening. I also took the opportunity to introduce Bernie to my pastor, George Mason. Bernie had come to admire George, especially for his work in interfaith relations and the respect that George gave to those of other faiths.

Bernie cared. Whenever I called Bernie – usually to arrange for our next lunch together – the first words out of his mouth were, “How’s Joanna?” (before she passed away in 2021) or “How’s Travis?” (my son, who still experiences the effects of a stroke suffered in 2013). Bernie suffered a stroke many years ago and has been unable to drive ever since. So for most of our friendship, I’ve picked him up at McDermott’s Crossing and loaded his walker into the trunk of my car. If a neighbor was nearby when I picked him up, Bernie would introduce us. At Jason’s Deli, he would pay for our lunch one time, I would pay the next. He would often joke with the person taking our order. I can’t count the number of times that he told them that I was his father, yes, that I was Bernie’s father! He got a kick out of that – he had a great sense of humor.

He told me many stories over the years, particularly of growing up, going to school, from his service in the Marine Corps. I won’t try to recount those here, mainly because the details have faded and are a bit murky in my memory, so I’m afraid I would misrepresent them. He even told me how he and Evie met and of his immediate determination to marry her.

I loved my friend Bernie and will always cherish the hours we spent together. I learned more from Bernie than almost anyone I have ever known. He was unique – a true mensch if ever there was one!