50 years ago tonight – January 20, 1973: Joanna & I went on our first date at OBU 
by Bill Jones

(Scroll to the end for links to my previous 16 blog tributes to Joanna since her passing.)

History records that, at noon (EST) on January 20, 1973, Richard Nixon and Spiro Agnew were sworn-in for their second terms as president and vice-president. Their political “marriage” ended less than nine months later with Agnew’s resignation after getting caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar.

Our Jones family history records that, a few hours later, Bill Jones walked from Brotherhood Dorm at Oklahoma Baptist University to Kerr Dorm, and dialed room 4-1-5 on the lobby phone, telling Joanna Wong that he had arrived. She came downstairs, and the two walked over to Clark Craig Fieldhouse for OBU’s basketball game, on their very first date, beginning a life together that would last 48 years, until her passing in February 2021.

It sounds easier than it was. I had to be about the shyest guy on the planet. I had no confidence that any girl would want to go out with me, so I didn’t ask. A girl had to be very special for me to summon the courage to ask her out. Joanna was that special.

It was Joanna’s first year in the U.S. She was born and raised in Hong Kong. Her parents felt her best chance at a good education was in the States, so they sacrificed to send her to OBU. How she got to OBU was another story altogether. She was not a Christian, had no Christian influences. She had narrowed the schools down to two choices, Pepperdine in California and OBU. I’m still not sure why she chose OBU – I chalk it all up to the grace of God. She and a friend were to go together, but the friend changed her mind at the last minute.

In August 1972, Joanna’s flight landed at Will Rogers World Airport in Oklahoma City, and she was met there by Eunice Short, who drove her to Shawnee. Eunice was charged by OBU (among her many other responsibilities) with helping international students in their transition to life at OBU (for Eunice, it was a labor of love). On the way to Shawnee, Joanna wondered two things: (1) Where did all this red dirt come from? and (2) Where are all the skyscrapers? In other words, we’re not in Hong Kong anymore, Toto!

I don’t remember meeting Joanna for the first time. I was a senior and in three years had developed close friendships with several Chinese students. I was a resident assistant (RA) in Brotherhood Dorm that year, and two of my Chinese friends, Warren Lee and Danny Tsoi, were among the other six RAs. I regularly sat with my Chinese friends at meals in the OBU cafeteria. So I had probably met Joanna there, but neither of us had paid the other much notice.

In one of the first meetings of the Chinese Student Association (CSA) that fall, they decided to invite – for the first time – three or four non-Chinese students to join the CSA as members. As I was already so close to the Chinese community there, I was a logical choice, so they invited me and I accepted, honored to be asked. The initiation of the non-Chinese students was a challenge – to learn to speak Cantonese. There would be a contest to determine the best Cantonese speaker among the non-Chinese students.

As president of the CSA, Warren Lee was to assign each of us to one of the Chinese students – called our “big sister” or “big brother” – who would teach us Cantonese words and phrases. One evening in the Brotherhood Dorm office, Warren told me that he planned to assign Joanna Wong as my “big sister”; then he grinned and confessed very pointedly that this was a plan to “set us up” as a couple. Well, Warren was always joking, and I figured this was just Warren being Warren, so I laughed and said, “Sure, Warren,” and didn’t think much more about it. I really didn’t know Joanna well at this point and had no reason to think much of Warren’s “plan,” one way or the other.

Joanna and I soon started meeting regularly in the University Center for her to teach me Cantonese. I had a reel-to-reel tape recorder that my parents had given me, 3 years earlier, for my high school graduation. I brought it to our first session and recorded it so that I could go back to the dorm, listen to Joanna pronounce the Cantonese words and phrases, and practice them, along with her inflection. (Click here to hear that first session. Click here to go to my full Joanna & Bill YouTube channel.) I also brought my handy OBU notebook along, and she guided me in writing the words and phrases, and their English translation, in the notebook.

We met throughout the semester. I don’t recall just when the contest was held, probably toward the end of the semester, or where. Jaxie Short, Eunice’s sister, was the judge. Jaxie was a longtime Southern Baptist missionary to Hong Kong. She was home on furlough, serving this school year as OBU’s missionary-in-residence. Again, I really don’t recall the contest at all. I just know that Jaxie ultimately proclaimed me the winner and that it wasn’t really a close contest. Joanna had taught me well! I got praise for my inflections.

Throughout the semester, I don’t recall any particular “sparks” between us. I do remember one time, though, just before Christmas break, when I was sitting downstairs in the library. I’ve always loved newspapers, and I would go to the library most days and plop down in the newspaper section just inside the front door, and spend a half-hour or so reading papers. One day I was sitting there as usual, when I heard, “Hi, Bill” (more like “Beel”); I looked up to see Joanna, who had noticed me on her way out the door and stopped to say hi. I usually say it was the CSA induction party on January 5 where I started realizing how much I liked her and that I should ask her out, but I think a seed had been planted in the library that day just before Christmas. She was so cute, her smile was so beautiful . . . well, maybe it was then that I really started being “smitten” . . . after all, you can see that it left a lasting impression on me.

Then came the party on Friday evening, January 5, at which we new members were inducted into the OBU Chinese Students Association. I started looking at Joanna differently that night. She was so cute, her smile so sweet, and I realized just how much I enjoyed being with her. That night, I decided to ask her out.

However, as I said earlier, I was the shyest guy on the planet. I eventually decided to ask her to go with me to an OBU basketball game. Ten nights after that party, on Monday, January 15 – to quote FDR, it was a date that will live in infamy! – I sat in my chair, in the middle of my dorm room, staring at the phone on the wall next to the door for three solid hours, from around 7 p.m. to 10 p.m., when I finally gave up and went to bed. Couldn’t get up the courage to pick up that phone and call her!

Three days later, Thursday, January 18, I was at lunch in the cafeteria. Joanna worked in the cafeteria. When I was finished eating, I went to put my tray up and saw Joanna. Here’s where I put some strategy into action – strategy aimed not at Joanna but at myself. I asked her, “Are you going to be in your room this afternoon? I’d like to call you about something.” She said she would be there. Ahh, strategy – committing myself to calling her AND making it easier for me because she would be expecting it . . . the call, that is, not necessarily the purpose of the call. (though, based on something that happened decades later – I’ll explain that in a moment – maybe she DID divine my purpose after all)

So I called her that afternoon and asked her to go to the game with me. Truth be told, I don’t remember the call – except that I made it – or her response, except that she accepted my invitation.

And what happened decades later that tells me she might have known why I planned to call her? March 14, 2005 – it was my birthday, and our daughter, Alison, had come over to have dinner with us. She was in her first year of teaching 1st grade, after graduating from college the previous year, and had an apartment not too far from us. After we finished dinner, Alison left. Shortly after she left, the phone rang. It was her boyfriend, Adam:

“Is Alison there?”
“No, you just missed her.”
“Well, that’s okay, because I need to come over and ask you and Joanna something.”
“Okay, we’ll be here.”

I hung up and – cluelessly, I might add – told Joanna, “Adam’s coming over. There’s something he wants to ask us.”

Joanna hardly took a breath before she said, “He’s going to propose!”

I said, “Hmmm, really? You think so?”

Well, of course Joanna was right . . . she knew. Adam came over to ask us for Alison’s hand in marriage. We simply embraced him, and I said, “Welcome to the family.” For the next few days, we kept Adam’s secret as he and Alison took a Spring Break trip to Colorado. One evening, the phone rang, and this time it was Alison. “We’re engaged!” Uh, yeah, we kinda figured.

I never connected these two situations until I was writing this post a few minutes ago. But now it all makes sense . . . when I told Joanna I wanted to call her that afternoon, she knew exactly what I planned to ask her. She was always two steps ahead of me!

So we went to the OBU basketball game that Saturday night. I don’t remember the score of the game, I don’t even remember whether OBU won or lost. I just remember that Joanna and I won, starting a lifetime journey with each other. After the game, we walked across the campus and across Kickapoo Street to Pizza Hut. But – typical after a basketball game or other campuswide event – it was packed. So I suggested we walk down the street to the Grubsteak Restaurant, a submarine sandwich place that wouldn’t be quite so crowded. Our first date – Clark Craig Fieldhouse and the Grubsteak.

I don’t remember what we talked about. I just remember that, when I walked her back to Kerr Dorm, I told her I’d like to go out with her some more. It wasn’t long before we were dating regularly and spending much of our free time together. That summer, Joanna went to Boston with some of our Chinese friends at OBU. She got a job at Massachusetts General Hospital for the summer. I went home to Kansas City, MO, spending my last summer there – mostly alone, because my parents left in June for a six-months sabbatical in Israel – and working my fourth & final summer for the City of Kansas City, MO, as a dog enumerator (yes, you read that right – dog enumerator). The next year, after 12 years in KC, MO, Mother and Daddy would move back to the Texas that they loved.

One weekend in July, I flew to Boston, and Joanna and I spent the weekend seeing the sights of Boston together. (I had to wait awhile in Logan Airport for her to come down on the subway to get me . . . while waiting, I went to the restroom and walked right past Ted Kennedy and a friend/colleague who were deep in conversation; a few minutes later, on my way back to the lobby, I passed them again . . . I still regret failing to walk up and introduce myself to him and express my admiration for him and his family . . . oh well.)

Joanna graduated in May 1976, and we married on September 4 at University Baptist Church in Shawnee, where I was a member. Joanna’s parents were unable to come, but her brother, Jovan, gave her away, and her sister Rossana and her family – who had immigrated to Canada a few months earlier – attended. My father, A. Jase Jones, officiated, and Jerry Barnes,  pastor of University Baptist Church, who had become a dear friend over the years, assisted with a scripture reading.

On our 40th anniversary, September 4, 2016, we drove to Shawnee, worshipped at University Baptist Church, and – after the service – got our picture taken standing on the very chancel where we first said “I do” 40 years earlier to the day.

Alison came along in December 1981, followed by Travis in November 1985.

Joanna and I had a wonderful life together. She was my best friend . . . my love . . . my partner . . . my life companion. I never got over that feeling I realized on January 5, 1973 – of how much I enjoyed her company. For 48 years, we just simply enjoyed being together . . . we enjoyed each other’s company . . . we loved each other deeply and without reservation . . . we were each other’s greatest champion and support. I was so proud of having her as my wife. She always made me proud, always made me happy. She is the love of my life through eternity.

And it all began at Clark Craig Fieldhouse on the OBU campus, on January 20, 1973.

 

My 16 previous blog tributes to Joanna since her passing on February 14, 2021:

10/28/22 – 50 years ago – October 1972: Audio of Joanna beginning to teach me Cantonese (3 mo. before our first date)
9/4/22 – On our 46th, remembering anniversary celebrations with Joanna through the years
8/14/22 – A year-and-a-half later: Missing Joanna more than ever
1/29/22 – One year ago – Joanna & I went out to eat together; then came the phone call that changed our lives
1/14/22 – 11 months of missing Joanna . . . my thoughts go back to another January, 49 years ago
12/14/21 – Ten months after Joanna’s passing . . . music, memories, and lumps in the throat
12/1/21 – 12/1/81, a great day as we became parents for the first time . . . Alison turns 40!
11/14/21 – Journeying with Joanna . . . Photo memories from a half-century (almost) of our travels together
9/14/21 – Pictures, pictures, pictures . . . remembering my wonderful trip with Joanna to Hong Kong, Beijing, and Macao 10 years ago this week
9/4/21 – Joanna and I were married 45 years ago today . . . Missing her and celebrating her
8/14/21 – Six months after Joanna’s passing . . . remembering her humor and all that she meant to me
7/14/21 – Five months after Joanna’s passing . . . remembering the lively soul who brought us joy
6/14/21 – Four months after Joanna’s passing . . . a few personal reflections
3/19/21 – Joanna spoke out against demeaning racial slurs and the fears they caused her as an Asian-American
2/22/21 – How Joanna and I got together . . . the beginning of our love story
2/19/21 – The painful journey that took the love of my life, Joanna . . . to the great heavenly banquet