Eulogy for my best friend Bob 
by Bill Jones

(NOTE: I delivered the following eulogy at Bob Morris’s funeral on Saturday, September 10, 2022, at Northridge Church of Christ, Shawnee, Oklahoma.)

I spent 20 years as a technical writer and editor and have spent much of the rest of my various careers writing and editing – hundreds, probably thousands, of various types of documents over the years. But I don’t think anything has been as challenging as trying to put Bob’s life – and our friendship – into words that will somehow do him justice, if that’s even possible. My wife, Joanna, passed away last year, but her voice is still in my head, saying “keep it brief.” I’ve tried to that as best I can. You’ll be the judge of that.

Robert Smith Morris was born August 28, 1950, here in Shawnee, and passed away this past Monday evening, September 5, in Oklahoma City, just over a week after celebrating his 72^nd birthday. With him as he passed were his loving wife of 32 years, Emily, and other members of the family he loved so much.

I want to first tell you about our friendship, because maybe that will help you to understand why I’m standing here today, and will also help to put into context the rest of what I’m going to tell you about Bob. Bob and I met on March 18, 1974, when we both began work as cordboard operators for Southwestern Bell over on Broadway here in Shawnee. We trained together for six weeks, trained by a lady named Wanda Rutherford, who continually got our names mixed up, calling Bob Bill and me Bob. Soon after we started working together, we discovered that we had both voted for George McGovern in the 1972 presidential election, probably just about the only two people in Oklahoma who had voted for McGovern, or so it seemed, so we quickly became friends. We were working 1-10 shifts; after we got off work every night, we would stand out in the parking lot talking politics for a couple of hours – Watergate was the hot topic at that time, so I guess you could say Richard Nixon helped cement our friendship.

As the 1974 NFL playoffs approached, Bob and I decided to predict the games and see who would do best. I don’t remember who won that first year, but I do know it was the beginning of a tradition that would last for 48 seasons through this past season. I have no idea who won overall through those years, but we sure did have a lot of fun competing with each other on those playoff predictions every year – for almost half a century! About 15 years ago, we added my son, Travis, and son-in-law Adam, and eventually other family and friends, so the tradition will continue – only without Bob, but from now on it will be known as the Bob Morris Memorial Predictions Contest. That may not seem like a big thing to you, but Bob would have loved it.

Two years later, when Joanna and I got married, Bob was my best man. For the last few weeks before the wedding on September 4, I stayed with Bob in his apartment in Bethany. The morning of the wedding, I was nervous about lifting Joanna’s veil to kiss her – I just knew I would somehow get tangled up in that veil. So Bob had a bright idea. With the help of my groomsman, Peter Cheung, Bob set up a pillow with a towel draped over it and had me practice lifting the towel and kissing the pillow. You should have seen us!

In 1977, Joanna and I moved to Denver, Colorado. So the remaining 45 years of our friendship took place mostly over the phone. And how we burned up the phone lines, talking for 2 hours and more every time. It was impossible to end a phone call with Bob. I would say, “Well, I’ve got to work in the morning, so I’d better get to sleep.” Bob would ignore me as he said, “Just one more thing . . .” and he would do that every time ‘til we had talked another half-hour or even hour before he would finally relent and say goodnight. One Saturday night in 1978, Bob called me around 10 or 10:30; I was on the couch in my living room. Around midnight, with the phone at my ear, I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up, it was about 4:30 a.m., and lo and behold, Bob was still talking. He had been drinking a little and had just kept rambling, never noticing that I wasn’t responding. We soon hung up. When Bob’s phone bill came in the mail, he was expecting a huge charge for that six-hour phone call, but it wasn’t there. He was never charged for that call. Obviously someone in Southwestern Bell’s central office had looked at the length of that call and said, “that has to be an equipment error,” and marked it off without charging it to Bob’s bill.

Joanna and I had been in Denver only about 6 months when Bob came up for a visit, and we all went for ski lessons. Joanna and I kept falling down, got discouraged, and never skied again in our 10 years in Denver. But Bob took to skiing right away and fell in love with it. After that, he would come up several times a year, spend a day with us in Denver, and then head for the slopes for a week. He started getting Mike and others in his family to go with him; after he and Emily got together, he started taking her, and the children and grandchildren. Skiing is part of his legacy that he leaves for his family, as well as the wonderful memories he has left them of those great ski vacations.

When Bob and I met, we were not far apart when it came to matters of faith. Bob called himself an agnostic at that time; in college, I had lost the faith of my childhood. We both had questions and doubts. I eventually found my way back to faith in Christ, though in a much deeper way than when I was growing up. Bob remained resistant to any talk of God.

Whenever Bob had a particular need in his life – for example, when his parents died, when Eddie and Louise died, when he struggled with his health – I would say, “I just want you to know I’m praying for you.” He appreciated my concern but prayer? To him, it was of no avail. However, there was one time – and only one time – that he asked me to pray, and I wanted you to know this, Emily. It was probably 15 years or so ago, I’m really not sure. I don’t remember the specifics, but I do know that you were going through a serious health crisis, Emily, and Bob was worried that you might not survive it. He called me and was very emotional. He said, “Bill, I don’t want to lose her. Please pray for her.” The only time he ever asked me to pray. He loved you deeply and couldn’t imagine his life without you.

Ultimately, our differences over faith were not an obstacle to our friendship. Though Bob wasn’t a Christian, I felt that Bob carried out Christ’s mandate, in Matthew 25, to care for those Jesus called “the least of these” as well as – perhaps better than – most professing Christians I know. He had a heart for people whom others had ignored, cast aside, and persecuted.

Bob and I didn’t have a shared faith, but we did have shared values – care for the least of these, as I just mentioned, love of family, love of the principles on which our country was founded, yet frustration with our country’s frequent failure to be faithful to those principles. Bob was a man of principle.

One of those principles had to do with his work. For 38 years with the phone company, he was a loyal member – and enthusiastic supporter – of the Communications Workers of America. He was a strong supporter of unions and the labor movement in general. As he lay in the hospital this past Monday, it probably didn’t cross his mind that it was Labor Day, but I have a feeling he would be very pleased to know that he was going to his eternal well-earned rest on Labor Day.

Bob was committed to the principles of democracy, the importance of voting, and he and Emily regularly volunteered as election workers.

Bob loved OU football, and I know he and his nephew, Mike, went to a few games together over the years. However, he hated the University of Texas – and he told me recently that he was upset over OU banding with Texas to go to the SEC, so he was ready to switch his allegiance to OSU. Foolish to get on Bob’s bad side, Sooners!

We loved to talk sports together. We had both grown up as Cardinals fans; his favorite player was Bob Gibson, mine was Lou Brock. We sure enjoyed talking about the old days when baseball was baseball, talking about the heroes of our youth. Both of us loved baseball statistics and could quote plenty of them from back in the day.

Bob loved statistics, and he loved making lists. Lists of anything – sports, movies, politics, the subject didn’t matter, Bob would come up with a list for it.

When Joanna was pregnant with our first child, Alison, in 1981, we tried to wallpaper the nursery – Sesame Street wallpaper – but couldn’t get it right and got increasingly frustrated. Then Bob came up to Denver for a visit; when he saw our frustration, he took over the job and finished it for us successfully. Truth be told, he may have saved our marriage! So, Travis, you might not be here today if not for Bob putting up that wallpaper for us! When Alison came along, she loved turning in her crib and looking at Big Bird, Cookie Monster, and the rest . . . if she were crying, all we had to do was point her toward that wallpaper, and the tears would stop, followed by a big smile. And she had Bob – not Mom and Dad, but Bob – to thank for that.

I recently came across a letter from Bob, dated December 5, 1982, four days after Alison turned 1 year old. I want to read it to you, because it illustrates Bob’s sense of humor.

Dear Bill + Joanna + Alison

Well, hello. As you can see, I finally broke down and took out a checking account. Why didn’t you ever tell me how handy they are? It’s amazing, a whole new area of financing has opened up to me. When I see something I want, all I have to do is write a check and they give it to me. Amazing. Now all I have to do is come up with $1700 by the end of the month and I can stay out of debtor’s prison.

But seriously folks, I looked and looked, but they just don’t have them. They just don’t have birthday cards for a year and a week. This was as close as I could get. I hope Alison doesn’t mind.

Yours,
Bob

PS The check is for Alison but I was afraid she might have trouble cashing it, so I made it out to Joanna.

Bob

You’ll notice he made the check out to Joanna, not me. He knew who handled the finances in our household!

It also demonstrates – the part about finally opening a checking account and so forth . . . that when you came into his life just a few years later, Emily, it was none too soon. He needed you to help put some order in his life.

I want to add here that I got to knowing Bob’s family early on in our friendship. Marsha, I remember one time that your dad gave Bob and me a ride in his truck to pick up my car from Williams Transmission, where it was being serviced. I was in y’all’s home on S. Draper several times, and both of your parents were always very welcoming to me. I met Eddie and Louise a couple of times, and I remember when Joanna and I came in 1983 for OBU Homecoming, you and your mom babysat our Alison, who was not quite 2 at the time.

I met you, Mike, on several occasions, of course. One memorable time, you may remember, was in the spring of 1983, when you and Bob visited us in Denver – on your way to the slopes, of course – and the three of us went to see the Denver Gold, our USFL spring football team, play at Mile High Stadium.

So I came to know Bob’s family very well and love them.

Recently, Bob and Emily put their heads together to put on paper some of Bob’s memories and reflections through the years, as well as their family memories and reflections, which they titled “A Brief history of Robert Morris.” Emily sent it to me this week, asking me to edit it into the obituary that you find in your program. But there was much more to it than that, and I want to share just a few things from it.

Of course, Bob’s favorite hobby was photography, and it really became much more than just a hobby. He studied photography magazines and books, learned sophisticated methods of photography, and bought dozens of cameras and lenses through the years. I rarely saw him without a camera hanging off a strap around his neck. He took thousands and thousands of photos over the years. When Bob, my son Travis, and I drove to Denver in 2001 to see a Broncos game, he took numerous high-quality photos of our trip. After he and Emily visited this past March, I soon received photos – again, of the very highest quality – of their visit in the mail.

I think it’s important to know that it was his older brother, Eddie, who gave Bob his first camera for Christmas in 1959, sparking a lifelong love of taking pictures.

When I met Bob in 1974, he was only five months removed from Army service and less than 2 years removed from a tour in Vietnam. He spoke often of his service with the Army Security Agency as a radio traffic analyst. He was very proud of his work there.

From the way Bob tells it, it was pretty much love at first sight when he was greeted by a young woman named Emily upon his arrival for work at Southwestern Bell’s Tulsa office. He started volunteering for work in Tulsa whenever there was an opportunity. It was a little over a year later that Emily was transferred to Oklahoma City. Now, Emily, Bob may not have admitted it, but I just have to wonder whether he might have had something to do with their transferring you. In 1988, Bob and Emily moved in together and were married on August 20, 1990, in Trinidad, CO.

I noticed, after Bob and Emily married, that Emily’s children weren’t just Emily’s children to Bob, they were his children. He loved this new family he had, and he would brag to me about their accomplishments. He so loved going to Dava’s basketball games and filming them, then when she became a successful coach, he was beside himself with excitement and pride. With every new grandchild and great-grandchild that came along, Bob beamed with pride and love. He loved Emily and their family with everything that was in him. It was obvious that his love for Emily, and hers for him, grew deeper with every passing year.

Bob loved to travel. Coin collecting gave him the opportunity to drive all over Oklahoma, and go into factories – he especially enjoyed watching the assembly line in the GM plant, as well as military installations, convenience stores, wherever. Bob was always curious about how other people lived and worked.

But he also loved traveling across America, and he enjoyed it even more after he and Emily were married. I’m sure traveling with Bob telling about the history of the various places they visited was a treat for the kids and grandkids, but it was just as much a treat for Bob. He and Emily began taking the grandchildren on vacation every summer – but only those who were potty-trained! They visited museums, national parks, historical sites, and four presidential inaugurations – Democratic presidential inaugurations, of course. He said that the one vacation that stood out above them all was in 2004, when they took their grandchildren to Washington, DC, and surrounding areas. Other vacations with the children included St. Louis, Chicago, and Texas, as well as New Mexico – great skiing locations – and Arizona.

One time, Bob and Emily took four weeks to drive up the west coast and see dozens of national parks and other historical sites. Another time, they visited his nephew, Mike Dixson, and Mike’s wife, Jodi, to witness the total eclipse of the Sun, then went on to visit many other sites, including nine presidential homes. Visiting Mount Rushmore with Emily and three grandchildren was a special highlight.

Then there was the time they did a “theme” vacation, with the theme being haunted hotels in New Mexico – the Eklund Hotel in Clayton; St. James in Cimarron; Plaza and Castaneda, both in Las Vegas; and Laguna Vista in Angel Fire.

Bob called me one night in August 2011 with an unusual request. Even though he was still healthy, no problems on the horizon, it was on his mind that he wasn’t going to live forever. So he called that evening and asked me to do his eulogy when the time came. But not only the eulogy – he had six pieces of music he wanted played at his funeral, and he wanted me to take notes on them AND, of course, he insisted that I listen to a recording of each one of them that night as he played them over the phone.

After Mike called Monday night with the news of Bob’s passing, I searched my computer and found a Word doc titled “Playlist for Bob Morris.” So I downloaded recordings of each of them and have edited them down to a little over a minute each. I hope Bob will forgive me for not playing the full songs. But what I’m going to play for you will give you a flavor of each of them and a flavor of Bob’s eclectic musical tastes. He especially loved classical music, but he also enjoyed classic rock, as well as some contemporary singers, as well as a variety of other types of music.

So, in a few minutes, I’ll play those recordings for you.

But first, I want to read Bob’s final words written in this tribute to his family:
“After my operation, and end-stage renal disease and diabetes, I’m working very hard to maintain my quality of life. I couldn’t have done it without my beautiful wife – not only thru 30 years of marriage but especially since my operation. I wouldn’t be here today without her.  We have been constant companions. We’ve enjoyed a wonderful life.”

“I’ve been able to pursue my hobby of photography from 1974 ‘til the present. I bought dozens of cameras and lenses. Since 2002, I’ve done almost all of the printing of the pictures myself.”

“I want to thank my wife, Emily, for putting up with me and giving me the best years of my life. When we got married, I went from being a bachelor to being a husband, father, and grandfather. She has given me the best family I could have asked for.”

“I need to acknowledge the love I received from my parents, siblings, niece, and nephews. My mother was able to keep our family together and set a fine table all of my life. I got my love of knowledge from my father and a lot of help growing up from my sister, Louise, and brother, Eddie. My younger sister, Marsha, and I spent a fun time playing games – Risk, Canasta, and other card games. Mike Dixson, my eldest nephew, and I spent a lot of time together skiing and traveling. I felt like he was more of a little brother than a nephew.”

“I want to thank Gina, Dava, and Arthur for the love they showed me in giving me children, grandchildren, and great-grands to spoil and take on vacations.”

“My oldest and best friend is Bill Jones. We started work at Southwestern Bell on the same day and soon became best friends when we found we had both voted for George McGovern in 1972. We were two liberal Democrats in a very red state. I was best man at his wedding. If Emily and I hadn’t gotten married in a fever in Trinidad, CO, he would have been my best man. I had his support, anyway.”

“This is dedicated to all of my children – Gina, Dava, and Arthur; grands Candace, Lisa, Kimbra, Alex, Darius, Emily, Kaleb, Jillian, and Emery; great-grands Jordan, Maya, Josh Jr., Gia, and Londyn.”

“It has been a Wonderful Life.”

I found it interesting in that last sentence that Bob capitalized the words “Wonderful Life.” Bob’s favorite movie actor was Jimmy Stewart, and one of his favorite Jimmy Stewart movies was “It’s a Wonderful Life.” I have to think his capitalizing those two words was significant – that he had that movie in mind. It’s about a man who discovers that, despite his setbacks, he had a wonderful life because he was surrounded by family and friends who loved him. But he came to that realization only after being shown how much he had changed their lives as well. His life was a wonderful life because he had touched everyone whom he met and made their lives better than they would have been without him.

My life is much better, and I’m a better person, for having known Bob Morris and had him as my best friend. Your lives, too, are better for having had him as a friend, a husband, a brother, a brother-in-law, an uncle, a father, a grandfather, and a great-grandfather. He truly lived a wonderful life.