Tributes to Joanna on our 48th wedding anniversary 
by Bill Jones

Date, time, & venue: September 4, 1976, 3 p.m., University Baptist Church, Shawnee, Oklahoma
Occasion: Wedding of Joanna Ching-Ping Wong to William Jason Jones
Officiant: Rev. Dr. A. Jase Jones, the groom’s father
Giving the bride in marriage: Jovan Wong, the bride’s brother
Maid of Honor: Sumiko Ushiban
Best Man: Bob Morris
Bridesmaid: Lam Yuk Ling
Groomsman: Peter Cheung

Thus began the best 44½ years of my life, a marriage to a woman who became more special to me every day; a marriage that was blessed ultimately by the births of two children and four grandchildren; as two lives joined to form a partnership, a blessed companionship in which Joanna and I simply enjoyed each other’s company, spending time together. Through the years, it became obvious to me – if not to her – that she had touched lives of people far too numerous to count.

As her kidney disease, first diagnosed in 2010, progressed, Joanna began occasionally acknowledging that her time in this life was limited. Occasionally, she would say to me, “I don’t want a funeral . . . because no one will come.” She was convinced that she wasn’t very important. I would always reply, “Babe, you have no idea how many lives you have touched.” I hope she finally came to realize that, even if she wouldn’t admit it.

After Joanna passed away in the wee hours (1:16 a.m., officially) of February 14, 2021, of complications following a kidney transplant, COVID prevented us from having a traditional memorial service. Even her inurnment service, in the Wilshire Baptist Church Columbarium, was limited to 20 people because of COVID.

On July 27, 2024, almost 3½ years after Joanna’s passing, our family gathered with friends, at our house, to share memories of this woman who truly had touched all of our lives in profound ways – as well as many, many more who were unable to attend. I bought a new camcorder especially to record this occasion . . . unfortunately, a “glitch” (probably my own error) resulted in NO audio being recorded, just video.

In addition to my own remarks, 13 people shared memories publicly at this gathering. Several have sent me written summaries of what they shared, which I want to present here. I’ll do my best to share brief summaries of the others as well.

After presenting their memories of Joanna, I’ll close this post with my own remarks, which opened the gathering. Almost 50 people, including family, attended our Remembering Joanna gathering on July 27.

All are presented in the order in which they spoke.

MIKE BROWN (friend & colleague at Mobil/ExxonMobil)

In the 1980s, when we were still at the Mobil office in Denver, Joanna once told us that her house had radon, but we thought she said rodents, and Cathy told her to get a cat!

In the 1990s, when we were at the Mobil office at Pegasus Place in Dallas, JJ (what Steve Gunin in the Denver office had nicknamed her) and I would go down to the cafeteria and get breakfast sandwiches. We started saving the clean aluminum foil and began forming it into a ball, which grew over the next few years. When I left to go to the ExxonMobil headquarters in Las Colinas, I gifted it to Joanna. Then she gifted it back, either when she came to headquarters or when she retired. I keep it on my dresser as a reminder of those times and my dear friend.

So many wonderful times and memories. We were all blessed to know and work with Joanna.

LORI BEARD (friend & colleague at ExxonMobil)

Didn’t know her as long as many of you. Last few years of her career. She fit easily into our group – even though it was likely a step down in responsibility.

It was evident she had a servant’s heart – making others around her comfortable. She even offered to drive our little lunch group though she didn’t enjoy driving. Helen remembered that she was comfortable driving as long as she only had to make right turns – and we realized we could get to Dickeys BBQ and back with only right turns!

Fortunately our friendship continued after her retirement. We’d get together for lunch – and spend so long that Bill would be calling to make sure Joanna was ok.

When I retired in Jan. 2021, Joanna participated in a zoom call celebration (remember this was COVID time). I’m sure Bill helped her join it. So thankful that God gave me that last view of Joanna’s smile and the chance to hear her voice.

(NOTE FROM BILL: That Zoom call was on Friday, January 29, the day before we got the call about the kidney transplant. Just 48 hours after this Zoom call, Joanna was being prepped for surgery and would spend the remainder of her life – 2 weeks – in the hospital, so that Friday, January 29, is what I call “our last calm day at home together.” I’m so glad that she got to participate in that call on that day; she loved Lori and her other ExxonMobil friends who were on that call, and she always had such a good time with them.)

CATHY LEUBNER (friend & colleague at Mobil/ExxonMobil)

Joanna once called me to ask if I wanted to go to Wok (Chinese restaurant) for lunch. I thought she said go for a walk. So I replied, “Sure, but can I first get something for lunch in the cafeteria?” She went silent, totally befuddled. Of course, once it dawned on me what she had said, I started laughing hysterically while trying to explain to her what I thought she said.

(NOTE FROM BILL: The following memory, shared by Cathy, comes courtesy of Mike Brown.)

Cathy also shared how Joanna ran interference for the rest of us with our boss, Charlie DiBenedetto . . . boy did she show her mediation skills with him . . . earned one of her heavenly gold stars in that job!

SCARLET JONES (Travis’s daughter – our third grandchild)

Hello, I’m Scarlet. My grandma was an inspirational person. She was smart, caring, generous, and a life changer. She’s the reason I love my Asian side so much. Last October, there was a World Culture Day at my school, and – because it was the last one I was having (graduated 6th grade in May), I wanted to be in the parade to honor my grandma. Other kids said I didn’t look Asian and they didn’t know why I would dress in a cultural Chinese outfit, but I didn’t care, because I knew my grandma would be proud. Because of her, I learned to love cooking, to love art and painting, and to care for other people around me. She would be there for me every time I would cry or get hurt. For example, when I was younger, I got a splinter in my knee, and it took my dad and grandma awhile to calm me down and pluck the splinter out with some tweezers. She cared for the family so much. I would do anything just to hear her say, one more time, “I love you, Scarlet.” Thank you for listening.

(NOTE FROM BILL: I also asked Scarlet to do her impression of Joanna saying, “Scahh-let.” But you had to be there to appreciate it!)

DEBBIE MERIPOLSKI (friend from Epiphany Sunday School class at Wilshire Baptist Church)

On the Sunday after January 6, 2021, we decided to defer our scheduled Epiphany class Sunday school lesson and discuss our thoughts and feelings about the insurrection that took place at the U.S. Capitol just days before that. It was the height of the COVID pandemic, our church building was still closed, and our class was meeting every week via Zoom. Class members had been notified ahead of time of this change and attendance was strong.

Our class is known for how much it values active discussion, though some participants routinely speak up more than others. Bill and Joanna Jones regularly and loyally attended class. Bill, on the one hand, has valuable experience, knowledge, and opinions to share, which he does, and his input is most welcome. Joanna, on the other hand, was equally capable and a rapt listener, but she was a quieter soul and rarely expressed her thoughts during class.

On that Sunday, we were delighted when Joanna spoke up. What she had to say was powerful, heartfelt, and thought-provoking. Joanna expressed strong emotions about the violence, hatred, racism, and xenophobia demonstrated by the rioters through their words and actions. What was most disturbing was the personal fear Joanna experienced and expressed because of the riots. She said she felt afraid because she thought she and other people like her could be targets for the rioters’ hate and the hate of others like them. Worse, Joanna said she no longer even felt safe walking on the streets of her own neighborhood.

Her classmates were glad Joanna spoke up. We learned from her, we were honored by her transparency, and we were humbled by the thoughts and feelings she shared with us that day.

STEPHANIE MCCOWN MARKGRAF (niece, daughter of my sister, Patsy)

Joanna didn’t just enjoy eating out and laughing with friends – she was a great cook! I remember that every time we came to visit, she always had wonderful meals and beautiful desserts prepared. My favorite was the Thanksgiving that you all hosted in Denver. We came, along with Wilkie and Wyman and their family [Joanna’s sister Rossana and her husband, David Soo], as well as Joanna’s parents.

For Thanksgiving dinner, Joanna cooked an enormous Chinese spread – there must have been 15-20 different dishes – every one of them delectable! Mom and I were watching Joanna cook the fried won tons and noticed she and her mother talking in Cantonese and then laughing – almost guffawing! Curious, we asked what in the world was so funny. Joanna told us that her mother had no idea how to make won tons – had never made them before, because in Hong Kong they are ubiquitous. You can hardly take 20 steps (as I imagined it) without running into a won ton vendor. Everyone buys fresh won tons on the street in Hong Kong – making your own won tons there would be like making your own potato chips or Cheetos here in the States!

I remember when you two were dating and when you married, just thinking how absolutely cool she was. It was almost like having a big sister. I looked up to her. As I grew older, I always enjoyed visiting with her, but we didn’t often talk about deep or serious topics, and I regret that.

Around 2018 or 2019, we had a very serious conversation of great social impact when a parent of one of my students called to say that part of the costume for our musical was offensive to the Chinese community. The musical that pre-K 3, 4, and Kindergarten were performing the following evening was a retelling of a Chinese folk tale. The kindergarten children were all wearing yellow t-shirts and little (what I thought were traditional Chinese) hats that had long ponytails attached to them. This parent was Caucasian but had several dear friends who were Chinese. She told me that these were a symbol of a time of oppression by a conquering group and asked if we could please change them.

I told her I would look into it. I had never heard this before and, for my whole life, had seen these hats in Hollywood movies. I Googled the history of the hat and did, in fact, find some disturbing history that accompanied these hats. But I still wasn’t convinced.

So I thought, I know someone who can tell me her own opinion from her personal experience. I called Joanna. We had a fascinating conversation, and she confirmed that, yes, these were, indeed, offensive to Chinese who knew the history of the hats and the humiliation and subjugation that they represented. I had never really spoken with her about any type of prejudice or offensive symbols that she might have experienced here in America. I had never really thought about it, because, to me, I had always been so proud of her Chinese heritage, her wonderful ability to speak and write this seemingly inscrutable language, and what a rich heritage she had.

It never occurred to me that not everyone perceived her Chinese-ness in that positive light with wonder and admiration – that there are actually those who are prejudiced against Chinese people. That conversation was very eye- and heart-opening, and I suddenly felt that I knew an entirely different slice of her and who she was. I really wish that we had had those kinds of conversations much earlier and more often.

BETSY DOUCETTE (friend & colleague at Mobil)
I adored Joanna Jones, she was one of my closest friends. She had a wonderful sense of humor and a very special sparkle in her eyes. I loved to hear her laugh, she brought such joy! She was above all, a wise and godly woman. We talked about everything, whether it was everyday news, spiritual, financial thoughts, political opinions, faith lessons, shared prayers, recipes, good books, home decor, and hopes for our childrens’ lives, we covered it all. Joanna loved her family and was grateful for all of the good Lord’s blessings in her life.

Joanna and I were always there for each other over the 30 + years we were friends. We helped one another through happy times, and hard times. She celebrated with me when I shared pregnancy news and was the first one to arrive after my two sons were born, beautiful flowers in hand! She was thrilled when she met my husband Dave and gave him her stamp of approval. She hosted bridal and baby showers, and made them such special events. I attended her children’s lovely showers and wedding events, and celebrated the births of her grandchildren. I’ll always remember big dinners at her favorite Asian restaurant and amazement at the fabulous items she chose. We loved going shopping, sharing meals together, and going to the movies.

She held me up when I went through a hard divorce, she prayed and cried with me. Joanna was my rock. When Travis was so very ill, I stayed at the hospital with her and we prayed ceaselessly for his healing and recovery. Joanna was a prayer warrior. And when she became more and more frail from kidney disease, we spent more time in phone conversations. Her faith was stronger than ever.

I thank God for giving me the priceless privilege of loving Joanna. I carry Joanna’s lovely spirit in my heart every day and can still hear her precious laugh.

SCOTT SPREIER (friend in Epiphany Sunday School class at Wilshire Baptist Church in Dallas)

Scott spoke about Joanna’s moving testimony – on Zoom in Epiphany class following the insurrection at the U.S. Capitol, only a few weeks before her passing – about the fear she felt, as an Asian woman, after the then-president had spoken of COVID-19 as the “China virus” and “Kung flu,” the fear she felt that Asian-Americans like her would be targeted by his supporters. Scott commented that his first thought was, “Where has Joanna been all this time? She’s so insightful and eloquent. I wish she had felt comfortable to speak up in class more often. She had so much to offer.”

On the day that Joanna passed away, February 14, 2021, the class had spent the entire hour sharing their memories of Joanna. The next morning, Scott emailed me, writing, “The next time you ‘talk’ to Joanna, which I’m sure you will, please thank her for the most powerful Sunday school class I’ve sat through in 70 years.” 

GRACY SIMON (friend & colleague at Mobil/ExxonMobil)

Co-Worker Extraordinaire

When Mobil and Exxon merged, there were a lot of changes, the logo was the least of the changes we were in for. That day on the lawn, when a speaker said, “At least you got to keep the red ‘o,'” it was a prelude to a culture shift of seismic proportions.

As things progressed and plans were revealed, there were 17 Heritage Mobil employees who were close enough to the Exxon retirement age of 55 that they wouldn’t be dismissed, even if they refused to relocate. Of course, we didn’t know that.

So . . . the 17 of us were put in one group that handled Intercompany Accounting. One of my responsibilities was to prepare Aging Reports for worldwide affiliates. Lots of analytical parsing and combining of data.

Joanna built an Excel database to make the reporting super-efficient, yet simple. She did it without being asked, and just handed it over, trained me, and was always available for consults. Who does that? Joanna Jones, that’s who.

Well, I was over 30 years into my career at that time, and I could count on one hand co-workers who shared their knowledge and expertise. Joanna was truly a comrade, not a competitor.

A Little Mischief

The Intercompany Accounting group was closer than the typical work group, arguably due to the circumstances under which we were formed. Nevertheless, it created a bond and level of caring and sharing that is rare among a group of folks who were as diverse, in every way, as any group could be.

We had great meals together, and were famous for our “Pegasus Place Potlucks.” But we went out for breakfast or lunch, too.

One of our ventures out to eat would be at Mama’s Daughter’s Diner, generally for breakfast. On one such gathering, Joanna was seated across from me; she ordered sunny-side-up eggs. I heard the order, and my egg-yolk phobia kicked in. I’m not sure if I said something or just looked queasy.

Either way, Joanna noticed my reaction and teased me with every bite. After that, if she wasn’t seated near me, she would always get my attention: “Graaacy,” she would call across the table, as she was breaking the yolk. It became our standing “yolk-joke.”

Gracy also sent me the following message – “I thought this definition and description of LOVE [attributed to Danny Delgado] captures the relationship you have with Joanna,” which she labeled “Joanna & Bill – A Love Story.” Gracy is right. It beautifully captures the relationship that Joanna and I have enjoyed through the years. It was mutual; we each were there for each other, no matter the circumstances of the moment. Thank you, Gracy. Here it is:

There is no such thing as ‘falling in love.’ Love is not something you fall into or fall out of.

Love is not a feeling. Love is a decision. Love is a commitment. Love is a choice.

In marriage, love is a promise that says, ‘I will be there for you all of my days. I’ll be there when you lose your job, your health, your parents, your looks, your confidence, your friends.’

It’s a promise that tells your spouse, ‘I’ll build you up; I’ll overlook your weaknesses; I’ll forgive your mistakes; I’ll put your needs above my own; I’ll stick by you even when the going gets tough.’

Love says, ‘Your life will not go unnoticed, because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed – because I will be your witness.'”

CINDY GUILD (friend & colleague at ExxonMobil)

It was a treat when Joanna would host us at her favorite restaurant, J. S. Chen’s in Plano. She would be ordering food in Cantonese, and we would have no idea what she was ordering for us, but we enjoyed absolutely everything!

Joanna was the reason I was able to return to ExxonMobil when she was retiring; she gave my name to her manager as her possible replacement. I had just gone through a divorce, and this was such a blessing – to be able to return to a job at a place I knew, where I had friends.

Then Joanna threw a beautiful bridal shower for me before I married Mike.

I love and miss my precious friend, Joanna.

ALISON CLEMENTS (daughter) and TRAVIS JONES (son)

Alison shared that she took a couple of years off from teaching, beginning with the 2019-2020 school year. It turned out to be perfect timing, because she could pick up the phone and talk to her mom during the day, and they could often go out to lunch, shopping, etc., with each other, without having to wait for the weekend or the summer. During what turned out to be the last years of Joanna’s life, they drew even closer than they already were.

Travis shared the following: When I had my stroke in 2013, Scarlet was 8 months old, and my wife left me a few months later. But I’m thankful for my stroke, because it gave me a chance to re-know my mama as an adult . . . we laughed, we talked, we loved . . . besides getting closer to my daughter, that’s what I’m most thankful for about my stroke.

(NOTE FROM BILL: I’m so proud of these two kids – now adults with their own families – through whom Joanna and I formed a family. Just as they have felt sad for me as her husband, I’ve felt sad for them as her children. I can be a loving dad to them, but I can never replace their mom, any more than they can replace my wife for me. But we continue to love each other and comfort each other with the love that we all received from Joanna. Her passing leaves a big hole in our hearts – and a big hole in our family gatherings.)

EMILY MORRIS (widow of my best friend – and Best Man when Joanna & I got married in 1976, BOB MORRIS)

It was a special time when Joanna gave me a tutorial session on how to use and set up dialysis equipment. She was very weak and still got up and showed me how to use the machine. I was grateful and blessed. Bob and I were scheduled for a 2-week class, but with Joanna’s help we zoomed through the course in 3 days!

(NOTE FROM BILL: Emily also reminded me of a story that she heard from Bob, which had occurred several years before she and Bob met. In the early fall of 1981, with Alison on the way – she was born on December 1 – Joanna and I were frantically trying to hang the Sesame Street wallpaper we had bought for the nursery. But neither of us (especially me) was very skilled at this sort of thing, and we were at our wits’ end trying to get started with it. Our frustration was getting the better of us, and we had begun to get a little “short” with each other. Along came Bob, visiting us on his way to the Colorado slopes for a ski vacation. Bob took over and did a beautiful job of hanging that Sesame Street wallpaper. Ever since then, we have joked that Bob saved our marriage – and that may not be far from the truth, lol!)

Emily also texted me recently to say, “As I listened to Travis discuss the interactions he had shared with his mom, I had to cry. She was in her true form. She was mom, with love, strength, understanding, guidance, and true wisdom. I love Joanna.”

JAN HAMLIN (friend & colleague at ExxonMobil)

(NOTE FROM BILL: Although Jan didn’t present her memories publicly at the gathering, she did mail me some memories a few weeks later, so I want to include those here.)

Joanna and I met after our Dallas Accounting Center moved to Pegasus Place in the early 2000s. She was very quiet, and I was loud. She was the CPA who knew every detail; I was the one who liked to “color just a bit outside the line.” Because she never judged me, I knew then she was destined to be not only a co-worker, but a friend (God’s providence). She knew the business – and became my rock during our times together at ExxonMobil.

I became especially fond of Joanna when she explained the accounting details again and again to me – I asked stupid questions – she always responded kindly with grace and humility. Although I was her supervisor, she NEVER talked down to me. She was always willing to share her knowledge. She even coached me on Financial Planning, and now my family and I are reaping the benefits.

Joanna and I were two of the last 17 employees left in our positions before the Accounting Center closed. We had fun! We took long lunches, we borrowed the company van and went on shopping trips when there was nothing to do. Joanna and I loved to go to the Ross store near Lemmon Parkway. We would debate whether our daughters would allow us to wear what we liked. And the answer was always “No.”

I am especially humbled to know how well you (Bill) took care of Joanna during her illness. You are an amazing example for husbands! Both of us loved our families – and were very much in love with our husbands. We had common priorities – our Faith, Family, and Purpose. She was so proud of her children and grandchildren. As minority women and people of other races, we shared our hopes and fears for the future.

If I could see her now – I would know that she is happy – standing tall, no more sickness or pain – walking the streets of gold. And I know that she is enjoying Jesus while sitting at His feet. She will always be in my heart.

BILL JONES (the very blessed husband of this special woman)

First, I want to thank all of you for being here today. You are a reflection of different parts of Joanna’s life – different relationships, both family and friend. Among this gathering are several friends who worked with Joanna at Mobil/ExxonMobil over the years. Mike Brown goes back to the early 1980s, working with Joanna at the Mobil office in Denver, then moving down here in 1987, as we did, when the Denver office moved to Dallas. After she retired in 2011, Joanna stayed close to these ExxonMobil friends, and I’ve stayed in touch with them since her passing. They meant a lot to her, and so do they to me. Mike Brown and Lori Beard both invited me to their retirement dinners, and both of them spoke of their love for Joanna in their remarks at their dinners.

We have several friends here who were with us during the 17 years we spent as members of Hunters’ Glen Baptist Church in Plano. We have quite a few from our home church of the past 20 years, Wilshire Baptist in Dallas, including many from the Epiphany Sunday School Class that we joined soon after coming to Wilshire. We even have three friends from Epiphany class who never met Joanna. They joined Epiphany after she had passed away, but they’ve been extremely gracious in listening to my stories of her, and they wanted to be here today to hear your stories and learn even more about her.

One special guest today is Emily Morris, who has come here from Oklahoma City to be with us today. Emily’s husband, Bob, was my best friend for 48 years and Best Man when Joanna and I got married in 1976. Bob passed away almost 2 years ago, and it was my honor and privilege to give the eulogy at his funeral.

As for family, we have my niece, Stephanie Markgraf, her husband Jim, and their son Jon Michael. Their other son, Christopher, was unable to be with us today but is here in spirit. Angela Hudson, sister of our son-in-law Adam, and her husband Shannon and son Sawyer, are with us. We celebrated Thanksgiving with them last year at their lovely home in Leander, just north of Austin, and had a wonderful time. Finally, there’s the family that Joanna and I formed – our daughter, Alison, and our son, Travis, and the families that they have formed, Travis’s daughter, Scarlet; Alison’s husband Adam, and their three children, Avery, Anderson, and Aden. Our family has been a great comfort to each other since Joanna’s passing. They’ve certainly been a great comfort to me.

Your presence today is a reflection of how much you love Joanna and our family and of the love that Joanna gave to all of us. I didn’t win many arguments with Joanna over the years, but the one I hated losing the most was the one about which one of us would go first. She insisted that it would be her.

But there was another disagreement that all of you have helped me win today. On the day that she passed away, our pastor, George Mason, called me. As we talked, he told me that, regretfully, because of COVID, our church wasn’t conducting in-person funerals at that time. I said, “George, that would delight Joanna. She often told me, ‘I don’t want a funeral, because no one will come.’ I would always reply by saying, ‘Babe, you have no idea how many lives you’ve touched.’”

Thank you, friends and family, for showing Joanna how wrong she was. This gathering reflects only a smidgen of the lives Joanna touched. There are many who would have loved to be here today but weren’t able to come because of other commitments, distance, and so forth.

As it turned out, we were able to inurn Joanna’s cremains in our Wilshire Columbarium – on Easter Sunday that year, but because of COVID we were limited to 20 people. Thankfully, several members of our Epiphany Sunday School class – including some who are here today – were with us at Joanna’s inurnment.

George and I talked on the phone a few days before the inurnment service. He said to me then, “Bill, I believe that Jesus’s death and resurrection enabled Him to be anywhere with anyone at any time, and I believe that Joanna – now being in Christ’s risenness – is free to do the same. So I hope that when you go to places that you and Joanna both loved, when you see people doing the kinds of things that Joanna did, that you will be able to sense her presence.” Loved ones, I hope that you will, along with me, sense Joanna’s presence among us today, because I believe she wouldn’t miss this, and I think that there are some happy heavenly tears being shed right now as she sees the outpouring of love for her.

And we will shed some tears today, I’m sure, but we will also smile and laugh as we remember the one who brought so much joy, love, and – yes – laughter into our lives. Throughout the afternoon, you’ll see a slideshow cycling through – photos of Joanna through the years – both on the TV and in the digital frame on the counter. Some of you will even see yourselves in one or two of these pictures. You’ll notice that there’s no sad, mournful music that often accompanies such slideshows at funerals, because I want our sadness to be mixed with joy and laughter without that mournful music tugging at our emotions.

So please, as you share your memories of Joanna, feel free to cry, feel free to smile, feel free to laugh. You’re among friends, and I know Joanna is among us.

I want to thank my family for their work in making this day special – Alison for arranging for the food and drink, and, with Adam, helping me set up the chairs this morning; Travis for providing numerous pictures for our slideshow that I would have missed otherwise; Angela, Adam’s sister, and her husband Shannon for providing us with a sound system and microphones so that we can make sure everyone can hear you when you are sharing your memories of Joanna; and our oldest grandchild, Avery, who volunteered to take charge of the video recording, as well as taking pictures of me with everyone as you entered. Joanna’s family – her sister Rossana and brother Hiu, both of whom live in the Toronto area; and sister Betty, who lives in Hong Kong, and their families were unable to be here today, as well as my sister Patsy, in Midland, so I’ve promised a video recording that they can watch at their leisure.

After we’ve finished sharing, I hope you’ll stay awhile and visit with each other, and I hope you’ll also go check out the touchstones that I arranged on Joanna’s dresser in our bedroom, just a few months after she passed away. They include four pictures – two of her and two of us together – that we took in 2019 for the most recent Wilshire Baptist Church Directory; as well as a pair of her glasses; a blue heart-shaped box containing some of her ashes; a replica of the tile that is on our niche in the Wilshire Columbarium; and a silver pendant that contains a few of her ashes and – on one side – has her thumbprint. Every Sunday morning, I take that pendant to church with me and – throughout Sunday School and worship – I hold it and am constantly rubbing her thumbprint. It’s my way of holding hands with her. I’m so glad that I decided – when we went to Wilshire – not to sing in the Choir; after decades of singing in church choirs, I wanted to finally be able to sit in a pew with Joanna, share a hymnal with her, and worship with her. For 16½ years at Wilshire, I was able to do that.

Please take a moment, too, to look at the grandfather clock in the hallway here, especially at the plaque stating that it was ExxonMobil’s retirement gift to Joanna. She was very proud of this clock. It represents her 34½-year association with Mobil/ExxonMobil. She got that job just 2 months after our wedding in 1976.

I also hope you’ll go take a look in my study, which is over on the other side of the house. On the wall to your right as you enter, you’ll see the collage that I created – a little over a year after Joanna passed away – from six photos of us together through the years. In the center is the inscription, “Joanna & Bill Through the Years Our Love is Forever.”

Before I share a couple of my own personal memories of Joanna, I want to speak on behalf of two who couldn’t be here today. So please don’t count these minutes against my time – it’s theirs!

Two of our longtime Epiphany Sunday School class members – John and Marilyn Spaulding – had planned to be here today, but John emailed me Friday morning to tell me that he is sick, so he and Marilyn are unable to make it. I had asked Marilyn to read a poem she wrote, so now I’d like to read it in her absence. First, though, here is what Marilyn emailed me yesterday: “In writing the poem ‘White Bird,’ I wanted to express my sadness over the loss of democracy in Hong Kong through the metaphor of a kite, a very Asian object, and its possible resemblance to a white bird, both of which could also be symbols of freedom. The poem took third place honors in an international poetry contest. When it was accepted for publication by New Verse News, I wanted to dedicate it to Joanna, my Hong Kong friend.”

New Verse News published “White Bird” on its blog, December 22, 2021. It preceded it with this news item from The Washington Post:

HONG KONG – Under the cover of darkness early Thursday, authorities in Hong Kong tore down a public sculpture dedicated to the victims of the Tiananmen Square massacre – by the way Joanna and I visited that place on our trip to Beijing in September 2011 – accelerating a campaign to erase the crackdown from public recollection and stamp out dissent in a city that until recently was one of Asia’s freest. The 26-foot-tall artwork, known as the ‘Pillar of Shame,’ had stood at the University of Hong Kong for nearly a quarter-century and honored the hundreds, if not thousands, of students and others killed on June 4, 1989, when the Chinese military crushed pro-democracy protests.

White Bird
by Marilyn Mathis (her maiden name)
In memory of Wong Ching Ping (Joanna’s Chinese name)

You send the kite skyward,
Unknowing
If it will fly or fall.
You speak
in Hong Kong
Unknowing if you will last the day.
But the kite,
Saying only a single word,
Is still an opinion,
A dangerous breath.
See, already winter branches have stopped it.
Fragile,
Wind-shredded,
Fluttering desperately.
Silk and paper? Or a living bird?
It is of no matter.
The State will remove it.

The site goes on to say that “Marilyn Mathis . . . is the winner of the 2020 Ageless Authors Poetry Prize, third place, for ‘White Bird.”

After Marilyn sent me the poem, just before Christmas 2021 – our first without Joanna – I printed copies of it and placed a copy in each of our family’s Christmas stockings. Those copies remain there for them to find every year as we celebrate Christmas together.

Marilyn’s poem is a reminder of Joanna’s own courage and conviction about speaking out against injustice. January 6 occurred only a few weeks before she went into the hospital for the transplant that wound up costing her life. The Sunday after January 6, our Epiphany class – under the direction of Debbie Meripolski, who is here today – scrapped the lesson that had been planned and spent the hour discussing and processing our feelings about the insurrection at the Capitol. We were still having Sunday School by Zoom at the time because of COVID. That morning, Joanna didn’t feel up to coming to the living room, so she stayed in her recliner and did Zoom on her phone while I was on the computer in my study.

Joanna rarely, if ever, spoke up in Sunday School discussions. She was the quiet one, I was the mouthy one. So she surprised us all, probably even surprised herself, when she spoke up and out that morning about the fear she felt – as an Asian woman – after the then-president had used terms like “China virus” and “Kung flu” to describe the pandemic. She said that she was afraid to walk out in our neighborhood for fear of someone who might be targeting Asians. When our class was over, I ran to the bedroom and said, “Babe, I am so very proud of you,” because I knew the courage it took for her to do that.

Marilyn’s poem, “White Bird,” is truly a fitting tribute to Joanna.

When Joanna passed away, in the wee hours of a Sunday morning, I returned home from the hospital with her belongings, and – before trying to get some rest – I texted Debbie Meripolski, our Sunday School class director, with the news. That morning, Debbie turned over the class hour to a time of remembering Joanna. Of course, I wasn’t quite up to doing church that morning. Alison and her family came over, and we all spent time comforting each other. The next morning, I received an email from my dear Epiphany friend, Scott Spreier, who wrote: “At our impromptu memorial service at Sunday School yesterday, there was much said of your and Joanna’s Christian faith, your strength in times of crisis, and your love and caring of one another. Looking back, for me it was a real ‘God Moment:’ There you both were, in spirit if not person, sharing an unforgettable lesson in love and faith — a lesson in the power of speaking softly and acting with grace. The next time you ‘talk’ to Joanna, which I’m sure you will, please thank her for the most powerful Sunday school class I’ve sat through in 70 years. And I’ve sat through a lot.”

I later got an email from Lydia Tucker, who took notes of people’s comments that day. Those notes – and Scott’s email – are precious reminders of the impact Joanna made on so many people.

Through the years, Joanna was very aware that her time in this life was short. She was a cancer survivor. In 1988, the bone tumor on her left shoulder – which she had since before I knew her and had, through many biopsies, been found to be benign – was diagnosed as malignant. She underwent surgery to remove it. The surgery was successful, getting all of the cancer, which – thank God – hadn’t spread – and she lived almost 33 years after that without any recurrence.

Then came the diagnosis of end-stage kidney disease – yes, that’s what they call it – in 2010. She went on dialysis in January 2016. So occasionally, she would bring up the possibility of her passing. She had worked long and hard for 34½ years at Mobil/ExxonMobil as a financial analyst, and had been well-compensated for it, and had taken care of that money very well, saving it, investing it wisely – and she wanted to make sure that our children and grandchildren would be able to enjoy it after she was gone. So she would say, “If you remarry . . .” and I would assure her, “Babe, there will never be anyone else for me. You’re the love of my life. I could never find anyone to compare with what we have together.”

Well, I’m not sure she was completely convinced, but 3½ years after she passed away, I’ve found that those were not just empty words on my part. For 48 years, Joanna and I had a wonderful, loving relationship, including 44½ years of a marriage that was blessed beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I don’t want another relationship, because that person would always be compared to Joanna and would fall far short. I’m content with my memories, and with our children and grandchildren. It makes me happy to keep her pictures around, to cry occasionally – I call them “good tears,” because they remind me of how deeply we loved each other, but more often to smile at the wonderful memories. My Daddy was the same way for the 10 years he lived after Mother’s passing. I felt sad for him at the time and didn’t really understand; now I do.

Joanna passed away in the wee hours of February 14, 2021. For the next year, I wrote about her on the 14^th of every month – usually on my blog – sharing various memories and the many things I loved about her. Since then, I’ve continued to write about her occasionally, especially on our wedding anniversary, September 4, and on the anniversary of her passing. So if you want to read more about Joanna’s life and the life we had together, you can read what I’ve written at billjoneswritings.com.

I suggested earlier that you might sense her presence with us today. As you share your memories of Joanna, feel free to talk with her directly. I speak to her all the time, just as Scott suggested I would. She had her own way of putting things. In the morning, sitting in her remote-controlled recliner, she would often ask me to open the blinds for her. But instead of “open,” she would say, “Would you please turn on the blinds for me?” So now every morning, I go over to open the blinds and say, “Okay, Babe, I’m turning on the blinds for you.”

Alison and I were talking a few days ago, and I said to her that this house is infused with her mom’s personality throughout. Take a few minutes to look around the house at the decorations. Other than the pictures over here on the counter, which are pictures I’ve placed there since she passed away, the decorations throughout the house are Joanna’s. She truly made every place we lived in during those 44½ years a home. In the hallway by the dining room, you’ll see two big framed drawings. Those are drawings Travis made when he was studying architecture at UTA. He inherited his mom’s talent for drawing. Joanna loved those so much that she had them framed and hung them prominently in that hallway.

Most importantly, please take time – if you haven’t already – to look through her gallery of paintings that she hung in the rotunda by the entryway. After she took early retirement from ExxonMobil in 2011 – because of her kidney disease – she took up painting. She mostly taught herself to paint through YouTube videos. She was extremely talented.

She is – then, now, and forever – the love of my life. I miss her with every breath I take, and I look forward to the day I see her again when the Lord takes me home. That was another special thing about our marriage. When we met and started dating, Joanna had grown up with no particular religious influence. As for me, I had lost my Christian faith during my sophomore year and, when Joanna & I met during my senior year, I was in the midst of a very serious religious struggle and search.

It is a miracle that only God’s limitless imagination could bring about that Joanna and I helped each other grow in faith through the years. I eventually came back to Christ but with a faith much different than the shallow beliefs I had brought to OBU as a freshman. In August 1981, about 5 to 6 months pregnant with Alison, Joanna professed Christ at a church we were attending in Denver, University Hills Baptist, and was baptized. Our pastor, Davis Cooper, joked that this was the first “infant baptism” that he had ever performed.

Many of you have heard the story of how we got together, but for those of you who haven’t, here goes. Joanna came to Oklahoma Baptist University in the fall of 1972 as a freshman. It was the beginning of my senior year. I had several good Chinese friends, often ate my meals with them in the cafeteria. That year, the Chinese Student Association decided, for the first time, to pledge some non-Chinese students. Because of my close relationship with the Chinese community there, I was one of those receiving an invitation, which I readily accepted. The initiation was to learn to speak some Cantonese, the dialect spoken by most Hong Kong residents. Each of us was to be assigned a Chinese student – dubbed our “big sister” or “big brother” – to teach us to speak Cantonese. Warren Lee, the president of the Chinese Student Association, and I were good friends, and both of us were resident assistants in Brotherhood Dorm that year. One night, in the dorm office, Warren told me that he was assigning Joanna Wong as my “big sister” and made it very clear that he was trying to set us up. Warren tended to joke around a lot, so I just took it as Warren trying to be funny and said, “Okay, Warren, whatever.”

Well, Joanna and I started meeting regularly in the University Center; I even took a tape recorder with me to our first session and recorded it so that I could take it back to the dorm with me and practice the inflections and so forth. A couple of years ago, on the 50^th anniversary of that first meeting, I uploaded the audio to SoundCloud and linked to it in a blog post.

The judge of the contest was to be Jaxie Short, longtime missionary to Hong Kong who was home on furlough that year and serving as OBU’s missionary-in-residence. Jaxie’s sister, Eunice, was a longtime OBU presence, serving in many roles over the years and at this time serving as liaison to the OBU international students. In fact, it was Eunice who had picked up Joanna at the airport in Oklahoma City and driven her to Shawnee for the first time – Joanna said that all she could think about on the ride to Shawnee was “Where did all this red dirt come from?” and “Where are all the skyscrapers?” When we got married at University Baptist Church across from the OBU campus in 1976, it was Eunice who gave us our reception.

The contest was held in January, and Jaxie judged me the winner, hands down – after all, I had a great teacher! During the party to celebrate our induction, the first week of January, I started looking at Joanna in a different way – I realized how much I loved her smile, her laugh, and how much I simply enjoyed being with her, and I determined to ask her out, which I did less than 2 weeks later. Our first date was to an OBU basketball game, then to a little sandwich shop around the corner from the campus to have a bite to eat. And then there was another date and another, and soon we were, as they used to say, an item. That first year was a little bumpy. We broke up twice, all because of my insecurities.

When she called after the second time, asking me to meet her to talk, I said, “Okay, if we’re going to get back together, this time it’s going to be for good.’

A point of contention throughout our marriage was that she said I had never proposed. I would always point back to that time that I said, “this time it’s going to be for good.” She didn’t buy that as a proposal, and neither has anyone else over the years. But it’s the best I can do. However, this slideshow that you’re watching today includes a picture of us on the beach in Corpus Christi in 2012. This is approximately where my Daddy proposed to Mother back in the 1930s. So in that picture, you’ll see that I did my best to get down to one knee and propose to Joanna – 36 years after our wedding. I think she said “yes”; all I really remember is that she did come home with me after that, so I’m pretty sure she said “yes.”

Let me wrap up my remarks by saying that Joanna and I had a wonderful life together, though way too short. As I look at pictures of her through the years, I find myself falling in love with her all over again. I continue to be struck by her beauty, from the time we were dating on through our 40^th anniversary and beyond. In those last years, there would be times that we would be eating in a restaurant, and I would look across the table, take her hand, and say, “You are so pretty.” She was sweet, she was smart, she was funny, she was compassionate, she was courageous, and always she was loving. I’ll never understand why this wonderful, beautiful girl chose to leave her life in Hong Kong behind and spend her life with me, but I’m eternally grateful that she did. To put it simply, Joanna and I just enjoyed each other’s company, we enjoyed being together, and I miss her terribly.

Now I want to hear your memories. Please don’t be shy. Our family has been looking forward to this for a long time. It’s your one opportunity to publicly share your memories of Joanna and what she meant to you. Family or friend, we want to hear from you.