(Scroll down for links to my previous blog tributes to Joanna since her passing.)
September 4, 1976, 3 p.m., University Baptist Church, Shawnee, Oklahoma.
Joanna and I were married 45 years ago today. We couldn’t have imagined last year, when we ate out at Sushi Marquee to celebrate our 44th anniversary, that it would be our last. Joanna went home to be with the Lord in February, and I really don’t know how to act on this first anniversary without her.
I’ve experienced a lot of “firsts” this year, but this is the one I’ve dreaded the most. Our special day.
Friends who have lost their spouses assure me that, in time, the joy of my memories will overshadow the pain of loss. Perhaps so. That’s not to say that I can’t feel joy right now looking at photos and videos and remembering the wonderful life we spent together. But the pain of knowing that she’s not here to enjoy those memories with me or, especially, to make more memories – well, the pain still has a way of pushing the joy aside.
Enough about that! I miss Joanna with every breath I take, but I also thank God for Joanna first thing every morning, thank God for blessing me with her love for 48 years, her companionship, her friendship, her wisdom, her smile, her laugh, her teasing, her deep love for family, and the wonderful wife, mother, and grandmother she became. And I could go on and on.
Yes, I wish she were still here to celebrate more anniversaries with me. Nevertheless, I want to treat every anniversary as an opportunity to remember and celebrate a life well-lived; a woman of remarkable grace, love, and courage; a truly wonderful and blessed marriage. We simply loved each other’s company, just loved being together. We went through a lot of very difficult, even heart-rending, times together, and those difficult times – without exception – always brought us closer together and deepened our love and appreciation for each other. We were partners in every sense of the word, and we loved each other with a love that truly knew no bounds.
We were blessed to celebrate 44 wedding anniversaries . . . and 48 “first date” anniversaries!
Joanna was special. Her life was a gift to me, to our family, to her family, to her friends, and to so many more.
I’ll close by adding photos – one of our wedding recessional as we walked arm-in-arm as a married couple for the first time (after my Daddy pronounced us husband and wife); Joanna’s bridal photo; and a wedding present – with our names & date of our wedding – made by Susie Wood, wife of my college roommate, Cary; the rest are pages from the Wedding Keepsake Album that Joanna made, in which she compiled numerous keepsakes from our wedding.
(FYI – Clicking on the photo will open the full-size photo in a new window.)
My previous 6 blog tributes to Joanna since her passing on February 14:
8/14/21 – Six months after Joanna’s passing . . . remembering her humor and all that she meant to me
7/14/21 – Five months after Joanna’s passing . . . remembering the lively soul who brought us joy
6/14/21 – Four months after Joanna’s passing . . . a few personal reflections
3/19/21 – Joanna spoke out against demeaning racial slurs and the fears they caused her as an Asian-American
2/22/21 – How Joanna and I got together . . . the beginning of our love story
2/19/21 – The painful journey that took the love of my life, Joanna . . . to the great heavenly banquet
’76 Sept. 4, recessional, walking out as Mr. & Mrs. Jones for the first time
’76, bridal photo
Wedding present from Susie & Cary Wood
Our Wedding Keepsake album – cover page
Our Wedding Invitation (front)
Our Wedding Invitation (inside)
Our Wedding Attendants
Rehearsal Dinner, given by Bill’s Aunt Betsy & Uncle Frank Head
Joanna in her wedding dress
Our Wedding Day
Our Wedding Reception
Shawnee News-Star, September 5
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Wedding Announcement in Cantonese
Bill, man I do know where you are and why these memories are so special. I’m moving (my final one, I always say) to Lake City, Colorado the end of this month. A place we created with our daughters for getting away to celebrate God’s gift of the mountains and its inhabitants. The memories are especially vivid since I’m having to decide which items that trigger such sweet memories are going with me and which ones are not. It’s tough. The truck is only so big and the boxes filled with our memories could fill the truck without any furniture at all. But, I keep telling myself that the memories are stored deeply within my brain–and they are unforgettable! As you relive those times with Joanna and the ways in which she impacted your life, remember that they are all the gift that comes with commitment to the good, the bad, and the ugly. The times when things weren’t going right, the times when compromise was required, the times when out of nowhere came beautiful gifts that live with you forever. God bless you, my friend, and know that I continue to appreciate your efforts to keep us informed.
Thanks so much, Dan. I don’t know where Lake City is, but Joanna and I spent 10 wonderful years (1977-1987) in Denver, and we never stopped missing it after moving to Texas in 1987. (I’m still a Broncos fan!) I hope you enjoy your new home in the mountains. Please stay in touch. Give me a call once in awhile. I remember you wrote me last fall that you were just beginning to come out of “the fog” from losing Sandra. I’d love to hear more about that journey, if you don’t mind sharing it. I continue to feel adrift without Joanna . . . I miss her with every breath I take, I miss everything about her. Besides that, I’ve discovered just how much I relied upon her wisdom, her ability to organize our household in so many ways, and so forth. Frankly, I don’t feel very competent without her. But I do enjoy reliving my memories of our many years together . . . the photos, the memories, all of this brings me joy as well as tears, but I call them “good tears,” because they’re reminders of how very deeply Joanna and I loved each other. The first thing I do every morning is thank God for blessing me with Joanna’s love for 48 years . . . what a gift I was given! Please stay in touch, my friend.
I’m know that these special days are very hard. My brother’s birthday in August was very hard for me and his widow, but the good memories, the fun photos, and knowing that he is no longer in pain from his accident helped to get us through it. From your postings, I know those things also are sustaining you. Hoping for continued joy in those memories will cover the sadness .
Thanks so much, Bob. I’ve visited with several friends who have lost their spouses, and they tell me that, in time, the happy memories will outweigh the pain of Joanna’s absence. I haven’t reached that point yet, but I do enjoy looking at the pictures and reliving the memories of our many years together. They bring joy, and they bring tears – but I call them “good tears,” because they are reminders of how very deeply Joanna and I loved each other. Thank you, my friend, for your prayers and your friendship.
Bill,
I was so saddened to hear that Joanna passed. She was such a joy in the few times that we talked, and I could always see that the two of you were a wonderful match. After the first time I heard you talk about her, I had no doubt that God brought you two together. Thank you for sharing those photos–those are so fun–and also for sharing some of your heart. I am asking the Lord to give you courage, hope, and peace for these days, my friend. I am so grateful for how God has used and continues to use your life and influence. Gary
Thanks so much, Gary. Joanna thoroughly enjoyed her visits with you during the Currie-Strickland Lectures over the years. She especially enjoyed knowing that you and she shared a birthday (though she was a few years ahead of you, lol). Joanna observed one last birthday (her 68th) just two days before she passed away. I say observed, not celebrated. She was in the hospital and truly struggling. February 12 was 12 days after her kidney transplant, and she began having trouble right after the surgery. I was in the hospital with her every day, so I was there on her birthday, but our kids and grandkids got to visit with her only through FaceTime over the phone. She died at 1:16 a.m. that Sunday, Valentine’s Day, while undergoing a CT scan. As you note, Gary, God brought us together – it’s a mystery how God does things like that, but I have no doubt, either. God blessed us with a wonderful life together . . . she was the love of my life, my companion and partner in everything, my best friend. Thank you for your gracious words and for your prayers . . . my family and I will continue to need them. Honestly, I miss Joanna with every breath I take, and I don’t see that changing. Thanks so much, my friend. Bill J